The Bubble Syndrome

You've been friends with someone since forever, you've shared all the ups, downs and in-betweens with them and then WHAM!; they just up and disappear from your life. At first you try to clear the air and talk to them and when they respond in cliched monosyllables such as an 'Ok' or a 'K', you stop trying. But you still stew about it and wonder if you did something wrong to drive them away. And after what seems like a million years, and when you have finally closed the door on that friendship, this so called 'friend' suddenly reappears and starts talking to you as if nothing happened.

Now you're confused. And when you try to bring up the obvious, they pretend some more, leaving you frustrated and unsure on whether you're supposed to continue this charade or close the chapter and move on in life.

Déjà vu? You're not alone in feeling this way. I call this - 'The Bubble Syndrome'.

The bubble syndrome or BS (see what I did there?) as it will be known henceforth, is a state of complete and utter denial wherein an individual refuses to accept that they are in the wrong and that there is a lot of damage control that needs to be done in a relationship. They're happy in their little bubble of denial which makes them see the world the way they want. A world in which they have done no wrong and haven't hurt anyone's feelings or taken anyone for granted.

It's a terrible affliction to be honest. And whoever contracts it has my deepest sympathies, because after the BS comes the 'Jackass Mode' and that's just incurable.

So what do you do when someone you know is diagnosed with BS? In my case when someone I knew contracted BS, I tried to confront them and tell them exactly what I thought. Unfortunately, that only left me more frustrated and annoyed because they were already so deep in their bubble of denial and refused to acknowledge that there was anything wrong with their behaviour. In such extreme cases it is always better to save your sanity and self respect by closing that chapter and moving forward with your life.

In some rare cases, the bubble bursts and the person trapped inside gets a reality check. They then proceed to do some major damage control by accepting their mistakes or trying to make amends by sending you funny memes. In such cases, you can probably save the relationship, but proceed with caution because the BS could come back if the bubble hasn't burst completely.

There could also be a huge dose of emotional blackmail when they feel like all their efforts in winning you back have failed. Do not buy into it. Some friendships are toxic and that's that. And some people may not deserve that second chance. So you can either put up with the BS or tell them upfront that you respect yourself too much to sit around and be treated like a doormat again. The better option would be to stay away from people who refuse to take responsibility for their actions and try to make you feel bad for being angry at them when they do you wrong.

It is healthy to remove yourself from a toxic environment or an environment where you feel like you aren't getting the respect and the love that you deserve. Respect yourself enough to walk away from any situation or person that no longer makes you feel good. It takes a lot of courage to do it, but then it's way better than dealing with their BS.

Here's wishing you a week filled with zero BS!